walk with me.
Well Hello there. It has been what? three years. It blows my mind how time gets a hold of us and we end up in a whirlwind. What have I accomplished in the last three years? To start off with I think I have accumulated a lot of debt from student loans.. thats a definite accomplishment.. A degree you ask? No no just the debt. I have done more traveling. I did California three times.. one time for every year since I have written. I found a beautiful friend who has a home in Inverness CA and I did silent meditation retreats. One of the trips was with an ex boyfriend Jesse and it was mainly just to explore San Francisco- or now that I think of it a pre break up trip which happened literally two weeks later. Bad luck? Lol I think I will stick to meditation trips to California. I went to South East Asia backpacking on my own the spring of 2014. Let me tell you how wonderful that was. Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos. That was the first time I traveled without an actual plan or purpose. Yes I partied too much, and maybe had a brief relationship with alcoholism. However it was inspiring and I met the most amazing people. The thing about travel is that we literally have snapshots in our mind afterwards and going back on those memories can bring such happiness or sadness because you miss the people you met along the way. My biggest wish is that I could have everyone I have met from all my journeys thus far in life in one big room. My Katimavik family, My Costa Rica volunteer group, the people I have met in California, and everyone I met along the way in Asia. That would be the best party of my life. If any of you are reading this, you have impacted me and the person I am today and I miss you dearly.
In between said travels I worked on my Pre Psych Nursing requirements. It was a project in the making. Take a couple courses here and there.. and before I knew it I finished a year of University. Stretched out over 2 and a half years I would say. I didn't get accepted my first time applying in to the program so I took some courses over again. I got accepted last spring in 2015. That was exciting because I had put so much energy and dedication in to that acceptance. I began the Psych nursing program in the fall and life got a little messy. That was when Jesse and I broke up (apparently I don't handle break ups well) and my grandma passed away and I fell in to some difficulties financially. And the cherry on top was the fact that it was time to move back in with mom and dad (whom I love dearly I must add) However being on your own since high school and experiencing everything that I had.. and then moving back in to ma and pops wasn't the most exciting thing yet. Well the exciting part is my younger sister brittany moved out two weeks prior to me moving in... so its like mom and dad had a two week vacation and got a small experience of what it would be like to be kidless and then surprise Amy is back! And I must say my parents have been absolutely amazing throughout my life and especially in the last few months.
So are we up to speed yet? Oh wait that last paragraph basically explained that I couldn't handle full time university last fall so I dropped out. With the idea of returning the fall of 2016 and with that I would have to go straight through three years full time without any breaks. Apparently BU has a timeframe in which you have to finish your nursing and I took so long working on that first year I would have used up all my extra time. So my plan was to return this fall. Was.
It's funny how people plan their lives out isn't it? If you are lucky it should go according to plan. I never was much of a planner I guess. I always just followed my gut or you can say heart. Oh oh oh I forgot to mention in the last three years I have worked in a lovely group home as a support worker with individuals with intellectual disabilities. That has been a constant for me since we last talked. It has been absolutely amazing and I love the residents I work with. To be honest I would love that job as a career and I have started to see it that way. Unfortunately I had to take a sick leave a couple weeks ago and that leads me to where I am now. I am about 11 weeks pregnant. And I am doing it on my own. Some days this makes me really angry and I just want to scream, other days I feel total acceptance as this is how my path unfolded. I have amazing friends, family, and special people in my life. I know it will be okay. As i mentioned some days are better than others. Its difficult to see the miracle happening at the moment as it is so early.. however I know that this will all be worth it in the coming months.
A child will completely flip my life upside down. No more trips to Thailand to be lazy on a beach all day. However I must say that this child will be traveling the world with me... so I think there is still opportunity for Thailand.. maybe not peaceful beach sitting though! I am truly blessed.. and this all happened as it should. I want to be better for this little life growing inside of me.. and I will not let life stop happening. I feel that sometimes we see pregnancy as a burden.. shattered dreams.. I see it as an opportunity to share my life with a little being and experience unconditional love.
I understand posting such personal details on the internet leaves me quite vulnerable and exposed. Many of you might not understand it and thats okay. I am excited to have a safe place to write about my life and its very therapeautic to be honest. I have just received messages from people from my past asking where I am in life.. and this is the perfect response. I am working on my forward walk.. and I am doing it with a lot of amazing people by my side. I plan to continue on blogging as I don't have much going on right now and this could be good for me.
All my love.
xo
In between said travels I worked on my Pre Psych Nursing requirements. It was a project in the making. Take a couple courses here and there.. and before I knew it I finished a year of University. Stretched out over 2 and a half years I would say. I didn't get accepted my first time applying in to the program so I took some courses over again. I got accepted last spring in 2015. That was exciting because I had put so much energy and dedication in to that acceptance. I began the Psych nursing program in the fall and life got a little messy. That was when Jesse and I broke up (apparently I don't handle break ups well) and my grandma passed away and I fell in to some difficulties financially. And the cherry on top was the fact that it was time to move back in with mom and dad (whom I love dearly I must add) However being on your own since high school and experiencing everything that I had.. and then moving back in to ma and pops wasn't the most exciting thing yet. Well the exciting part is my younger sister brittany moved out two weeks prior to me moving in... so its like mom and dad had a two week vacation and got a small experience of what it would be like to be kidless and then surprise Amy is back! And I must say my parents have been absolutely amazing throughout my life and especially in the last few months.
So are we up to speed yet? Oh wait that last paragraph basically explained that I couldn't handle full time university last fall so I dropped out. With the idea of returning the fall of 2016 and with that I would have to go straight through three years full time without any breaks. Apparently BU has a timeframe in which you have to finish your nursing and I took so long working on that first year I would have used up all my extra time. So my plan was to return this fall. Was.
It's funny how people plan their lives out isn't it? If you are lucky it should go according to plan. I never was much of a planner I guess. I always just followed my gut or you can say heart. Oh oh oh I forgot to mention in the last three years I have worked in a lovely group home as a support worker with individuals with intellectual disabilities. That has been a constant for me since we last talked. It has been absolutely amazing and I love the residents I work with. To be honest I would love that job as a career and I have started to see it that way. Unfortunately I had to take a sick leave a couple weeks ago and that leads me to where I am now. I am about 11 weeks pregnant. And I am doing it on my own. Some days this makes me really angry and I just want to scream, other days I feel total acceptance as this is how my path unfolded. I have amazing friends, family, and special people in my life. I know it will be okay. As i mentioned some days are better than others. Its difficult to see the miracle happening at the moment as it is so early.. however I know that this will all be worth it in the coming months.
A child will completely flip my life upside down. No more trips to Thailand to be lazy on a beach all day. However I must say that this child will be traveling the world with me... so I think there is still opportunity for Thailand.. maybe not peaceful beach sitting though! I am truly blessed.. and this all happened as it should. I want to be better for this little life growing inside of me.. and I will not let life stop happening. I feel that sometimes we see pregnancy as a burden.. shattered dreams.. I see it as an opportunity to share my life with a little being and experience unconditional love.
I understand posting such personal details on the internet leaves me quite vulnerable and exposed. Many of you might not understand it and thats okay. I am excited to have a safe place to write about my life and its very therapeautic to be honest. I have just received messages from people from my past asking where I am in life.. and this is the perfect response. I am working on my forward walk.. and I am doing it with a lot of amazing people by my side. I plan to continue on blogging as I don't have much going on right now and this could be good for me.
All my love.
xo
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