I am a walking piece of art pieced together by threads of people I have connected with, and the places I have been planted in.
Wow. The last few days I have got to reconnect with some good people. So difficult growing up and going separate ways.. or even staying in the same town and life just getting so busy and in the way. It is amazing being brought back to moments and memories and feeling such a deep remembrance to that feeling and place. These are the times where I appreciate living in the moment so much and feeling those memories so much more.
People and places pass through us naturally and we take a little or a lot as we go or some times people take from us and a little too much at times. This perfect balance is who we are. We are a product of what we have felt and experienced. There are good and terrible persons surrounding us... though we must know that not everyone has had the same environment to flourish in.. not all of us had the same water and love sprinkled over us on the daily. Some of these good people have had beautiful flowers and gardens for days and they have given lots of these flowers away.. not leaving as much colour for themselves to survive on. When I was in California on one of my meditation retreats a very special mentor to me explained the most beautiful concept that goes like this. Imagine your own personal garden surrounding you constantly as you go about your life and moments.. imagine all the people you share life with.. or the people who pass through.. as you do this day to day your garden is always surrounding you.. and as we know gardens are pretty and you could pick flowers because they are just so nice.. well imagine keeping your garden beautiful and keeping it that way by sharing it with the people in your life.. without letting them pick what ever they want. If you imagine yourself with this beautiful garden surrounding you at all times and use this visual to help guide you in your relationships and how you can control just how much your willing to share or how you invite people in.. this just may help you appreciate who you are as a person and also you may just start to see just how beautiful you are. Each of those flowers is amazing experiences and beautiful people who you have in your life.. and ya a few weeds of course. Give those away.. Jk.. just keep it all. After all we are all just beautiful messes with some weeds in the mix lol! Let people in and let them appreciate and see you for all that you are.. but please don't let them pick... let them see you for the beautiful piece of art that you are. You truly are one of a kind.
All of this really made me look back at all my experiences and people I have crossed paths with. So much love and gratitude for the people who have helped shape who I am. Easily a person could lose their identity especially as a new mom.. having this huge new role and being consumed by it, having a whole new name to add to it all, Mom.. or Momma if you will. I think Mom's need to remember to do things that are their own and to be selfish. That's one thing I have been allowing myself to be and its perfectly okay. I have been asking for more help and accepting that I need to let myself be just Amy sometimes. And if that means a glass(s) Wine and babbling on this blog post then thats just wonderful.. ha ha. I think the moment I decided "I don't give a fuck" about what I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing is the moment I started living the best life and being free to be who I truly am. And who I am is a person who is a little selfish. I fucking love my own time.
I love being a mom don't get me wrong.. but I feel like I am a much better mom once I have had these moments to myself to reflect and to appreciate where I have been and where I am going. I am constantly exploring for opportunities to become better.. and I am so excited to continue my education and do things that will ensure a good life for my family.
Usually the moment I get to this moment of silence it doesn't take long for mom guilt to kick in or to miss the shit out of my little humans. Like ya its nice to get away but then I just miss them so much. Not saying every time it goes like that... sometimes it's like I need about 5 more hours of this and no I do not miss them, I miss myself more sometimes. At the end of the day it is just you, literally just you one single being, Being pulled in so many different ways and for the love of god just let me be still preferably in a horizontal position with a nice pillow and blankets.
Don't worry I love the hell out of my littles and Mark.
But come on.. give the moms a little break.. and maybe a nice cup of coffee, or tea.. or some wine or maybe just make it a bottle.
People and places pass through us naturally and we take a little or a lot as we go or some times people take from us and a little too much at times. This perfect balance is who we are. We are a product of what we have felt and experienced. There are good and terrible persons surrounding us... though we must know that not everyone has had the same environment to flourish in.. not all of us had the same water and love sprinkled over us on the daily. Some of these good people have had beautiful flowers and gardens for days and they have given lots of these flowers away.. not leaving as much colour for themselves to survive on. When I was in California on one of my meditation retreats a very special mentor to me explained the most beautiful concept that goes like this. Imagine your own personal garden surrounding you constantly as you go about your life and moments.. imagine all the people you share life with.. or the people who pass through.. as you do this day to day your garden is always surrounding you.. and as we know gardens are pretty and you could pick flowers because they are just so nice.. well imagine keeping your garden beautiful and keeping it that way by sharing it with the people in your life.. without letting them pick what ever they want. If you imagine yourself with this beautiful garden surrounding you at all times and use this visual to help guide you in your relationships and how you can control just how much your willing to share or how you invite people in.. this just may help you appreciate who you are as a person and also you may just start to see just how beautiful you are. Each of those flowers is amazing experiences and beautiful people who you have in your life.. and ya a few weeds of course. Give those away.. Jk.. just keep it all. After all we are all just beautiful messes with some weeds in the mix lol! Let people in and let them appreciate and see you for all that you are.. but please don't let them pick... let them see you for the beautiful piece of art that you are. You truly are one of a kind.
All of this really made me look back at all my experiences and people I have crossed paths with. So much love and gratitude for the people who have helped shape who I am. Easily a person could lose their identity especially as a new mom.. having this huge new role and being consumed by it, having a whole new name to add to it all, Mom.. or Momma if you will. I think Mom's need to remember to do things that are their own and to be selfish. That's one thing I have been allowing myself to be and its perfectly okay. I have been asking for more help and accepting that I need to let myself be just Amy sometimes. And if that means a glass(s) Wine and babbling on this blog post then thats just wonderful.. ha ha. I think the moment I decided "I don't give a fuck" about what I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing is the moment I started living the best life and being free to be who I truly am. And who I am is a person who is a little selfish. I fucking love my own time.
I love being a mom don't get me wrong.. but I feel like I am a much better mom once I have had these moments to myself to reflect and to appreciate where I have been and where I am going. I am constantly exploring for opportunities to become better.. and I am so excited to continue my education and do things that will ensure a good life for my family.
Usually the moment I get to this moment of silence it doesn't take long for mom guilt to kick in or to miss the shit out of my little humans. Like ya its nice to get away but then I just miss them so much. Not saying every time it goes like that... sometimes it's like I need about 5 more hours of this and no I do not miss them, I miss myself more sometimes. At the end of the day it is just you, literally just you one single being, Being pulled in so many different ways and for the love of god just let me be still preferably in a horizontal position with a nice pillow and blankets.
Don't worry I love the hell out of my littles and Mark.
But come on.. give the moms a little break.. and maybe a nice cup of coffee, or tea.. or some wine or maybe just make it a bottle.
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| So much love always.. because I always have love to share. A- xoxo |
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