let the blinds go, let the sun creak in.
Brandon, my town; It can make me angry, lonely, then there are times where I can believe in myself, feel inspired, and have the ability to tell myself it will be okay. Lately I have been somewhere amongst those very different feelings. When your away for so long, you find yourself in different environments, and you grow somewhere different then your home roots, it changes you, and then you realize you have grown in to this very different person, you return to your home, and it can be difficult to be that same person, you then find yourself adjusting again. This is when everything turns in to crazyness, and you get lost all over again.
I day dream a lot, remembering the last months where it was said I was away with Katimavik. Sometimes I feel like I am just day dreaming to somewhere unfamiliar. Then there are times I know I was away because I am using different useful skills I adopted from the program.
Sometimes I lose my sense of time, lose track of what keeps us all on track in our busyness of what we call life. I can go days, and not recall what time has passed, or I think it should have been only a week ago I did that said thing, turns out it was almost three weeks ago. I look to the stars, looking for my answers, in my darkest days they only stare back at me. Other days I remember what my tattoo says, and it gives me hope that I still have those bright stars in my life, and the stars in the sky give me something to hold on to.
People don't understand when you want to linger in this odd feeling of nothing. Smile, cheer up, it's not the end of the world, get your shit together, your making no sense, your room is dirty, it smells, why are your clothes dirty? Get out of your room, it's time to move on. Well, none of those comments help in any way. Those are a few things I have heard in the last while.
Thank goodness for those in my life who drag me out to social life against what I would rather do, those who believe in me, and those I even hear from. Thats another thing you lose friends along the way, as you all know people change. It's one of those things which determines our life path.
Music has kept me at peace, live music. Its the one thing in life that can bring me balance, and the feeling that I will be okay.
I will be.
I day dream a lot, remembering the last months where it was said I was away with Katimavik. Sometimes I feel like I am just day dreaming to somewhere unfamiliar. Then there are times I know I was away because I am using different useful skills I adopted from the program.
Sometimes I lose my sense of time, lose track of what keeps us all on track in our busyness of what we call life. I can go days, and not recall what time has passed, or I think it should have been only a week ago I did that said thing, turns out it was almost three weeks ago. I look to the stars, looking for my answers, in my darkest days they only stare back at me. Other days I remember what my tattoo says, and it gives me hope that I still have those bright stars in my life, and the stars in the sky give me something to hold on to.
People don't understand when you want to linger in this odd feeling of nothing. Smile, cheer up, it's not the end of the world, get your shit together, your making no sense, your room is dirty, it smells, why are your clothes dirty? Get out of your room, it's time to move on. Well, none of those comments help in any way. Those are a few things I have heard in the last while.
Thank goodness for those in my life who drag me out to social life against what I would rather do, those who believe in me, and those I even hear from. Thats another thing you lose friends along the way, as you all know people change. It's one of those things which determines our life path.
Music has kept me at peace, live music. Its the one thing in life that can bring me balance, and the feeling that I will be okay.
I will be.
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