World Spins Madly On
This post was supposed to be filled with new plans, new challanges, or New Year's Resolutions so to speak. Instead I have found myself on a new foot to bring in the New Year. With a loss of a wonderful person. I am so angry, and hurt, and filled with so many questions. My friend's life was taken in an accident on this past friday, also another life.. the one in the passenger seat. Thank goodness for the two survivors in the back. I councelled with Adam this past summer. He was a beautiful person, and filled with energy; he was definetely not ready to end his life yet. It's so sad that this world can hold so much beauty, but also take beautiful people who make up it.
He was going to be a pilot, and he had mad skills for photography. He hated cities, he was more at home in a small place like camp where it is secluded and holds nature and real things. Adam enjoyed escaping this modern world we all have been brainwashed by. It's funny to say he enoyed camp to be free of the fancy and modern world, as he owned a fancy sport's car, or the "Storm BlackBerry" ha ha. He was quite stylish in an earthy way. He was all for no bottled water and wattle bottles instead. Or putting his Blackberry away and going on adventures such as Canoe trips or nature hike's. He was so free spirited and up for anything, even if it's acting as the gay character Mr. G from Summer Heights High t.v show for a whole bunch of little girls at a summer camp. He was ambitous he was going to be the director at camp this summer and be on top of it all. He was quite wonderful, and up for anything.
I remember you couldn't leave your cellphone with him, or a camera either.. you might find it with some dirty pictures of him, or just a weird face on it. When I first met him I was very unsure of him, then he turned out to be so great. I have found you shouldn't make first impressions count, because almost always you will be suprised by your first judgment. It's hard to me to hear "He is in a better place". Well, I don't know I think also living can be wonderful, especially when you're in your twenties with a whole life infront of you. He had a huge life story book with blank lines waiting for his story. He still had to get married, reach his career goals, have a family, and many more year's at camp. How can where he is now, be much better then a lifetime filled with love. I am just having a hard time justifying his death, and how I am supposed to feel better knowing he is in a better place.
I hope to God, he is in Peace. And I hope his family and friend's can heal eventually. Losing someone like him, is almost like death itself. It grabs your heart and twist's it. It's hard breathing in, when you feel empty. It's a longing and empty space in yourself you can't fill; You can only heal over time. Why does this world "Spin Madly On" why can't it stop? In a moment, When everything is perfect. Why do we leave people like Adam in the past? I don't want to move on, I don't want to eventually fill the emptiness in my chest. I don't want to forget him, or remember him as dead. I want to always remember he is alive, and energized, and share camp with him for more year's to come. It's sad we are all capable of leaving these such thing's in the past, as much as we don't want to we will move on as the time passes. We won't all just stop in this pain, we are all slowly healing, and patching these hole's in our heart. I don't want to forget you though, Adam Gattinger and you are forever in my heart.
As for that, the funeral will be here Monday, and I need that closure. I'm sad we all have to go back to our busy lives after, and somehow keep truckin' along. I am getting my tattoo right away, and I am so happy that Adam can be a star among it. It will be my quote "When life get's dark, you can see the star's". Everytime I face a hardship I will add a star alongside it. Oh and Adam, thanks for the inspiration to my Photography. I am glad you loved it so much, I think I got lost somewhere, but I am going to do it for you. I have to get back to reality though, I will write again shortly forsure.
Rest In Peace Adam, and I know we will meet one day again.
He was going to be a pilot, and he had mad skills for photography. He hated cities, he was more at home in a small place like camp where it is secluded and holds nature and real things. Adam enjoyed escaping this modern world we all have been brainwashed by. It's funny to say he enoyed camp to be free of the fancy and modern world, as he owned a fancy sport's car, or the "Storm BlackBerry" ha ha. He was quite stylish in an earthy way. He was all for no bottled water and wattle bottles instead. Or putting his Blackberry away and going on adventures such as Canoe trips or nature hike's. He was so free spirited and up for anything, even if it's acting as the gay character Mr. G from Summer Heights High t.v show for a whole bunch of little girls at a summer camp. He was ambitous he was going to be the director at camp this summer and be on top of it all. He was quite wonderful, and up for anything.
I remember you couldn't leave your cellphone with him, or a camera either.. you might find it with some dirty pictures of him, or just a weird face on it. When I first met him I was very unsure of him, then he turned out to be so great. I have found you shouldn't make first impressions count, because almost always you will be suprised by your first judgment. It's hard to me to hear "He is in a better place". Well, I don't know I think also living can be wonderful, especially when you're in your twenties with a whole life infront of you. He had a huge life story book with blank lines waiting for his story. He still had to get married, reach his career goals, have a family, and many more year's at camp. How can where he is now, be much better then a lifetime filled with love. I am just having a hard time justifying his death, and how I am supposed to feel better knowing he is in a better place.
I hope to God, he is in Peace. And I hope his family and friend's can heal eventually. Losing someone like him, is almost like death itself. It grabs your heart and twist's it. It's hard breathing in, when you feel empty. It's a longing and empty space in yourself you can't fill; You can only heal over time. Why does this world "Spin Madly On" why can't it stop? In a moment, When everything is perfect. Why do we leave people like Adam in the past? I don't want to move on, I don't want to eventually fill the emptiness in my chest. I don't want to forget him, or remember him as dead. I want to always remember he is alive, and energized, and share camp with him for more year's to come. It's sad we are all capable of leaving these such thing's in the past, as much as we don't want to we will move on as the time passes. We won't all just stop in this pain, we are all slowly healing, and patching these hole's in our heart. I don't want to forget you though, Adam Gattinger and you are forever in my heart.
As for that, the funeral will be here Monday, and I need that closure. I'm sad we all have to go back to our busy lives after, and somehow keep truckin' along. I am getting my tattoo right away, and I am so happy that Adam can be a star among it. It will be my quote "When life get's dark, you can see the star's". Everytime I face a hardship I will add a star alongside it. Oh and Adam, thanks for the inspiration to my Photography. I am glad you loved it so much, I think I got lost somewhere, but I am going to do it for you. I have to get back to reality though, I will write again shortly forsure.
Rest In Peace Adam, and I know we will meet one day again.
Comments
Post a Comment